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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23695546">after life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypse_soon/pseuds/apocalypse_soon'>apocalypse_soon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, gin lives, good thing that's the only opinion he cares about, no beta we die like men, not everyone is happy about it, really only rangiku is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:06:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,283</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23695546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypse_soon/pseuds/apocalypse_soon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gin kills Aizen. He does not receive a hero's welcome.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gin/angst, Ichimaru Gin/Matsumoto Rangiku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>after life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For a moment, everything is silent, and Gin allows himself to believe, within his bones, his entire being, that it’s over. </p>
<p>Then he hears the scream. </p>
<p>It’s primal, the sound of a dying animal caught in a trap, with nowhere to run, nothing to do but cut off its own leg and pray for the best. It shakes him to his core, and Gin knows that it’s over for him. The hougyoku is resonating, and he feels it and he knows, as surely as he knows that the sky is blue and Rangiku’s measurements- of course he knows that; he devoured everything about her, every banality, every inconsequential moment they spent together. Every sigh and smile and pout he memorized, intoxicated and waiting for the hangover that was his life in Hueco Mundo. He knows that he will die there. And then the sound fades. His muscles tense up and his heart races and he waits. He waits for seconds; it should only take one for Aizen to find him. He waits for the feeling of cold steel against his skin; will he slit his throat? Will Aizen stab him in the heart, as Gin had planned to do to him, a kind of karmic retribution? </p>
<p>But nothing comes. Seconds become minutes become 10 and still nothing. Gin feels his heart pound, and counts the beats. Still, he lives. </p>
<p>———- </p>
<p>He knows it’s over, truly over, when Rangiku finds him. </p>
<p>He’s slumped over in the alleyway he ran to, thin fingers clutching the Hougyoku like a lifeline. He can sense what feels like a heartbeat of its very own; whereas once it felt like pure power and destruction, he can now see the fragility, the life emanating from it. Life can be ended. He knows that, because he knows now that Aizen is truly dead. </p>
<p>———-</p>
<p>Her hair is spun bronze, golden in the sunlight. Her eyes are flinty grey; why? they ask. </p>
<p>Why what? He wants to reply. He thought he’d feel relief, but she’s here, and he still hasn’t processed that he’s done it, finally, after centuries of waiting and watching and pretending, he’s done. He can die in peace. </p>
<p>“Gin” she starts.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” He replies, trying to stall, his ever-present smirk spreading across his face. It should scare her, but it doesn’t, he knows it won’t. Her eyes are narrowed, her lips thinned. Gin frowns. This isn’t right.</p>
<p>Rangiku glares, her hand moving towards Haineko, despite the slight tremor in her hand, the slight wobble in the way she moves. </p>
<p>“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you now” she says, her voice shaking like her hands. </p>
<p>Fake it till you feel it, huh? He thinks. It’s no use. He would let her finish him now; death is as good an after-Aizen plan as he had ever made, that is to say, none at all. Gin would prefer his last moment with her to be a little more joyful than this; more sake, more laughter, more like the Rangiku he knows, but beggars can’t be choosers. He knew what he was getting into. To see her in his final moments is in itself a luxury. He opens his eyes from their normal half-lidded state just to drink her in. </p>
<p>He looks at her, trying to photograph the moment with nothing but his eyes and his prodigal intellect, and she stares back, wide eyed. </p>
<p>His eyes open even further as a blade pierces through his body, two centimeters from his heart. </p>
<p>It must be Aizen, here to play with his food, it must be, who else would shoot NOT to kill. He must have grown so powerful he cannot recognize his reiatsu anymore, or maybe that’s just what dying is. He wouldn’t know; he’s never died before. </p>
<p>He hears screaming as he blacks out- Rangiku’s voice? This isn’t how it should have gone. </p>
<p>———— </p>
<p>He wakes up covered in chains, his head pounding, but his mind recognizing the familiar feeling of Seireitei. She’s there, just beyond the bars of his cell. He tries to get up, but his body simply won’t obey. Still, her eyes flicker towards him at the slight movement. </p>
<p>“Ran-“ He starts to say, shuddering inside at how pathetic he must sound, how he struggles to even manage the single syllable. </p>
<p>The sound seems to summon her from her stupor, her eyes sunken and and heavy.</p>
<p>“I’ll get Unohana,” she finally says, her voice quiet and shaken. Her walk is different from usual; her head is down, her body curled in on itself. She’s alive. But she isn’t. She leaves before he can say a word. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>———— </p>
<p>Unohana’s examination is wordless. </p>
<p>She’s very good at what she does. Gin can barely even sense the undercurrent of violence in her reiatsu, but once he does, its enough to put him at ease; war he can handle. It’s tears that leave him defenseless and out of his depth. </p>
<p>She leaves with a tiny bow and a silent promise of retribution. </p>
<p>————-</p>
<p>He must have been out for a while. </p>
<p>The last time he saw the unholy duo, Ukitake and Kyouraku, both men were convalescing on the gravel of fake-Karakura. </p>
<p>Now, Ukitake’s pale hands hold a cup of tea that he lifts to his mouth every now and then, Kyouraku’s hand on his shoulder. </p>
<p>Gin tries his best to perform; nothing but the best for Seireitei’s oldest captains. He plasters a grin on his face, tries to draw on his cold, deadly reiatsu, but nothing emerges. Of course it doesn’t; the Gotei13 isn’t stupid. Well, actually, yes they are. But they have their moments, and that moment is apparently now.</p>
<p>Ukitake looks at him with pity in his eyes, long white hair swept behind him. He doesn’t look like he has a hole in him the size of a young child’s hand, so it really must have been a while since the winter war. </p>
<p>“Whatever you think you know…” Gin manages to croak out, a slight tinge of warning in his voice. </p>
<p>Finally Kyouraku lifts his hat, done fantasizing about whatever passes for normalcy in that man’s head. He unnerves Gin, with his cavalier manner belying ruthlessness. Maybe, in another life, they would have been the same, him, and Kyouraku, and Aizen. Three murderers hiding behind the veneer of casualty. Faking humanity and decency. </p>
<p>“Your trial is next week,” Kyouraku finally says. Gin says nothing. The two get up to leave, Ukitake looking pinched, pretending at gentility. </p>
<p>“And Gin-kun?” </p>
<p>Gin’s eyes meet Kyouraku’s for a second, and feels his insides quake. </p>
<p>“Try not to make Matsumoto-san upset. She makes a terrible drinking buddy when she’s sad,” Kyouraku drawls. </p>
<p>Gin tries not to dwell on their visit. </p>
<p>————— </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He expects Hitsugaya to come.</p>
<p>His frostbitten toes wish death upon the kid. Or at least a time-out. Isn’t that what you do with children?</p>
<p>————— </p>
<p>He expects Kira to come to. He’s almost disappointed when he doesn’t. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>————— </p>
<p>In the end, when he’s sentenced to exile, the only face Gin wants to see is Rangiku’s. </p>
<p>She comes to him, holding a small flip phone that she presses into his hands. </p>
<p>“Keep in touch,” she murmurs. Her hands are steady. Hitsugaya glares from across the room and stands up, prepared to stomp across the room to save her from his clutches. Gin smiles and waves at him. Hitsugaya practically hisses, silvery hair spiking almost like a house-cat’s fur. </p>
<p>Rangiku seems to notice; she gives Gin a small smile before returning to Hitsugaya. Gin watches her crush the boy into her chest, hot and jealous.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> If nothing else, he’s learned control. </p>
<p>He steps into the Garganta that will bring him to Los Noches and drinks in his final sight of Soul Society. Of Rangiku.</p>
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